Bancul Zilei

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A black kid and his father are on an airplane.
The plane suddenly starts to lose altitude and the captain made an announcement.
"Attention passengers. Due to an engine failure we are forced we were forced to dump all your baggage to lighten the plane. Unfortunately the plane is still too heavy so we have no chocie but to start throwing out passengers by alphabetical order until the plane is light enough. We will start with the A's. Will all African Americans please jump out of the plane."
The little boy starts getting up but his dad stopps him. "We are not African Americans."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy. We must move to the B's. Will all blacks please jump out of the plane."
The boy starts getting up but his dad stops him again. "No son we are not black."
Shortly after another announcement is made. "Ladies and gentlemen we are still to heavy, we must now move to the C's. Will all colored people please jump out the plane."
Again the boy starts getting up but his dad stops him. "No son were not colored." "But dad, if we're not African American, black, or colored, what are we?" "Son, today we're niggers and we sure as hell ain't jumping before the Mexicans!"

maryjan

neata

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I don't always tell dad jokes.
But when I do, he laughs.

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A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman".
She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."
Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.
"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.
“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

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Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where i'm from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jacka.ss?

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Niciodata sa nu dai a doua sansa! E doar posibilitatea de a ti se infige cutitul in spate si mai adanc!

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Reclama la cafea:
- ce apare la TV: "Noi selectam cele mai bune boabe de cafea..."
- ce se taie la montaj: "...cele ramase ajung la voi".

maryjan

Ma , cand m-am angajat la firma asta la care sunt acum,am fost intrebat ce mi-a placut la fostul loc de munca.le-am zis ca uneori era ziua cate unui coleg si facea cinste

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D-nul "politically correct" sanmarco...eu zic ca trebuie sa stergi toate bancurile propuse azi...sunt o adevarata ofensa la adresa tiganilor :)))

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Pentru a nu mai fi acuzati de discriminare si pentru a garanta si tiganilor un premiu Oscar, Academia de Film Americana a decis sa creeze o noua categorie - Cel mai bun actor intr-un film politist.

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Statisticile arată că 98% dintre bărbații de etnie romă fac s*x în timpul dușului.
Restul de 2% n-au ajuns niciodată în pușcărie.

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Discutam astăzi cu Elvis, prietenul meu țigan:
”Mi-aș dori ca nevastă-mea să aibă sânii mai mari” mi-a zis.
”Ai și tu răbdare co..e” i-am spus ”are doar 12 ani”.

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Trebuie sa inceteze odata atitudinea rasista care ne otraveste vietile.
Sa nu ne pese ca unii sunt tigani, altii negri, altii galbejiti, sau normali, asa ca noi...

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Un tip aplică pentru un post de ofiţer în cadrul poliţiei. După o verificare amănunţită a dosarului de angajare, inspectorul îi spune:
– Aveţi cele mai bune calificative şi o experienţă extraordinară. Mai trebuie să treceţi doar de un singur test: vă rog să luaţi această armă, apoi mergeţi afară şi împucaşcaţi zece ţigani şi o lebădă!
Mirat, aplicantul îl întreabă:
– De ce lebăda?
– O atitudine minunată, rânji inspectorul. Sunteţi angajat!

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Here's a FedEx joke.
Actually, you'll get it tomorrow.