Bancul Zilei

Hepeaaa

Prost Bancu

kosma

asta e banc ... ?? ma asteptam la ceva mai bunicel :)

Hepeaaa

Nu Are Nicio Logica , ce sa inteleg din bancu asta ??? Ori Tiganca Ori Olaroiu , Sa numai spun ca olaraiu numai e antrenor la Steaua ,  Si Nici tigan nu e ,, Jalnic , banal bancu

larex

zece puncte!....bun banc!...

alina_08_rose

si mie imi place bancul, bvo rapidistu_029

ionutz_udy88

misto, fain, bestial, hai ca e prea mult oricum din partea mea are 10

alynabest

superrr bancul zilei :)))

andrei_jimmy

de remarcat o faza meciul steaua - sevilla  s`a jucat o singura data nu de mai multe ori
sau "mai multe zile" cum zice bancul

VexX

:))))) marpah bancul m**e straua si dinamo :)))

WanTeD

ma da steaua na mers mai departe :))))))))))))))))) nu prea ai treaba cu lumea fotbalului tinere

silex

Bun banc !=)))

silex

Alinuta cu mama ei, intrun tramvai aglomerat:
-Mama, cred ca am ramas gravida!
-Cu cine?
-Nu stiu, ca nu pot sa ma-ntorc...

25

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'

On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam:
Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:
1) it had never been occupied
2) that there was plenty of heat
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note:

"Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.

Thank you!!!!"

:))

25

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129

It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

25

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

25

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

25

Three Canadian blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde said; "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said; "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.

The second blonde said; "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said; "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter said:
"So, tell me."
She said: "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans stuck Him to a cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder."
St. Peter said: "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued: "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."
St. Peter fainted.

tyby83

:| si cand trebuia sa rad??! sa ma gadile cineva! numa un rapidist putea sa puna un astfel de banc pacat ca a fost acceptat! e super nasol naspa rau de tot nu are pic de umor in el!:|

tyby83


Parinte... am pacatuit...
- Zi-mi, fiule!
- Am fost la o petrecere... si acolo am intalnit o tanara.... si o voce imi zicea "Fa-o!... Uite cum arata!"... iar alta voce imi zicea "Ai copii si nevasta acasa.... nu o face!"
- Si ce ai facut, fiule?
- Pai... n-am facut-o... dar am pacatuit cu gandul....
- Fiule... trebuie sa te duci acasa.... si timp de o saptamana sa bei cate 3 galeti de apa pe zi.
- De ce trei galeti, parinte?
- Pentru ca asa bea un bou!

--------------

Sotul:
- Nu mai fi suparata! Îti promit ca te fac cea mai fericita femeie din lume.
Sotia:
- Cînd pleci?
.......................

Un barbat merge cu liftul. La un moment dat, intra o femeie. Dupa doua etaje, femeia opreste liftul, se uita cochet la el, îsi dezbraca bluza si sutienul si le arunca pe jos.
- Hai, fa-ma ca sa ma simt ca o femeie.
Barbatul se gîndeste putin, îsi dezbraca camasa, o arunca pe jos si spune:
- Hai, spal-o si calc-o.

----------------

Dialog în pat:
- Dragul meu, tu ma iubesti?
- Da' tu ce crezi ca fac aici? Flotari?

denisa_stelista

care e diferentza dintre un dinamovist si o tava de kkt?



R:tava

Dani_14

bun bancu'

aandrei

acceptabil

25

3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".

25

There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 6 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms.

lmaooo

25

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
=)))))))))))))))))))))))

Convulsie


"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
**************************************************
*******************************************

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
**************************************************
*******************************************

"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
**************************************************
*******************************************

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Convulsie

Drinker’s Alphabet

               + A is for Alcohol, The key to surviving college
               + B is for Beer, The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging
               + C is for Class, What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party
               + D is for Dancing, A favourite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic
               + E is for Emergency, The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party
               + F is for Fucked-Up, Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out
               + G is for Games, Anything that involves cards, dice and chugging beers
               + H is for Hang-over, Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank
               + I is for Idiot, The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party
               + J is for Jail, Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home
               + K is for Kissing, What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers
               + L is for Lord, Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol
               + M is for Money, That which you no longer have due to too much partying
               + N is for Not Again!, What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don't know.
               + O is for Ouch!, When you sober up, you ache everywhere, as you were so drunk that you fell down the stairs somewhere, and are only now feeling the pain.
               + P is for Piss, What you have to do every five minutes while you're drinking beer
               + Q is for Quilt, What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning
               + R is for Reform, What you promise god you will do while you're puking in the toilet
               + S is for Sex, What you did with that person you met last night while you were drunk
               + T is for Ten, The number of beers it takes ME to get drunk
               +U is for Under-Age, Most of the drinking population in college town
               + V is for Vodka, The mother of all alcohols and the best way to get drunk in an hour
               + W is for Worm, The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow
               + X is for X-Ray, How they can see into your stomach before they pump it
               + Y is for Yourself, The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every week-end
               + Z is for Zoned, How you will be for the next 12 hours following drinking

Dragos

mda...aiurea tare bancul...!!!

Convulsie

 I Hate Coffee--It Keeps Me Awake at Work.


 Suicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!'  


Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them  



I have a problem with drinking... two hands and only one mouth

 

Give Blood, Play Hockey  



Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter  


Join the Army: Visit exotic places, meet interesting people and then kill them  


If there is a tourist season, why can't we shoot them ?


Hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now.

25

Jesus and Moses was fishin'. Fish weren't bitin' so Jesus sez, "Gwan...do it!" Moses sez "OK" so he concentrates real hard, slowly raises up his arms and the water parts! Jesus says "Way cool...watch this!" And he steps out of the boat and goes straight to the bottom. Moses pulls him up and Jesus sez "Let me try that again". Woooosh, straight to the bottom. Moses pulls him up again and Jesus says "I don't understand it. I used to be able to do that really well." Moses sez "Sure, but you din't have them holes in yur feet then!"

25

One day, this guy, who has been stranded on a desert island all alone for ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. And as the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibility of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man!" "Is that ever good!" She then asks him, "How long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" Trembling, he replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask, and gives it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig, and says, "Wow,that's absolutely fantastic!" Then she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively, and asks, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" The guy, with tears in his eyes, replies, "Oh my God! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"

:))

meetweety

Un francez, un rus si un neamt se laudau cu realizarile tarilor lor. Francezul:
- Noi avem automobile foarte moderne, dar folosim Renault-ul pentru deplasare in interiorul Frantei si Peugeot-ul cand mergem in afara Frantei.
Neamtul:
- Si noi la fel, folosim Volswagen-ul in interiorul Germaniei si Mercedesul cand mergem in afara.
Rusul:
- Si noi la fel, Lada in Rusia si tancurile peste hotare...

25

Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."

The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"

Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."

25

A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!" the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!" the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally. About this time the cop looks down to see that the man's "thing" is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH GOD.. . . . they got my girlfriend too!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOL
=))))))))))))))))))))))
:)))))))))))))))))))))))

Calinas_jr

Culmea dragostei: Sa te masturbezi dar sa nu fie genul tau.

Calinas_jr

What is the clumsiest insect?
The Bumbling Bee.

What did the Bee say when he returned to the hive?
"Honey, I'm Home!"

What is a bee's favorite band?
The Bee Gees.

What was their #1 song?
"Stay in the Hive."

Calinas_jr

O englezoaica blonda mergea spre aeroport, citeste un indicator pe care scrie " Airport left". Asa ca s-a intprs inapoi acasa.

Calinas_jr

Ce spune femeia:
"Locul asta e mizerabil. Haide, sa curatam amandoi. Toate lucrurile tale sunt pe podea, si ai sa ramai fara haine daca nu le speli chiar acum"

Ce aude barbatul: " Bla bla bla bla. HAIDE, bla bla AMANDOI. Bla bla bla bla PE PODEA, bla bla bla FARA HAINE bla bla bla bla CHIAR ACUM."

Calinas_jr

Un canibal mergea prin jungla spre restaurantul prietenului sau. Intra inauntru, cere un meniu si citeste.
             
     
                                                                                   MENU


Misionar fiert ..................................................
...................................................
....20 LEI(africani)
Exporator prajit............................................
...................................................
.......25 LEI(totafricani)
Politician la cuptor............................................
...................................................
....150 LEI(dincongo)

Canibalul Client: - De ce asa scump politicianul la cuptor?
Canibalul Vanzator: - Ha, ai incercat vreodata sa-i cureti?

stzellaz

=)))))))))))

Calinas_jr

Un barbat  ii lasa pisica in grija fratelui sau  cat timp e in vacanta. La intoarcere il suna ca sa vada cand poate veni sa-si i-a pisica, dar frasu' ii spune ca pisica e moarta.
B: - CUM? ai fi putut sa imi dai vestea mai subtil . Puteai sa spui ca s-a urcat pe acoperis si nu vrea sa coboare, si cand as fi sunat a 2-a zi ai fi putut zice ca a cazut de pe casa si veterinarul are grija de ea, si a 3-a zi cand as fi sunat ai fi putut spune ca a murit in urma accidentului, asta e acum, s-a intamplat. Mama ce mai face ca tot am ajuns acasa?
F: - E pe acoperis si nu vrea sa coboare.

Calinas_jr

                      5  Lucruri pe care blondele le au in comun cu mingile de fotbal.
1. Amandoua sunt din cauciuc.
2. Si sunt pline cu aer cald.
3. Si sunt pasate des de la barbat la barbat.
4. Cu amandoua poti sa inscrii.
5. Si sunt folosite de tipi foarte tari si incinsi din televiziune.

Calinas_jr

Intr-o zi Bula si Strula merg cu barca la pescuit si prind peste o gramada, plina barca.
B: - Bai, cum facem sa marcam locul ca data viitoare sa stim, sa venim tot aici.
S: - Stiu, am sa scuip in apa!
B: - Nu ma boule, de unde ai sa stii ca e scuipatul tau?
S: - Atunci sa facem un X pe marginea barcii!
B: - Tu chiar esti prost, data viitoare poate venim cu alta barca! Idiotule!

Calinas_jr

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to fill in the rest. Here's what the kids came up with:

  1. Better to be safe than... punch a 5th grader.
  2. Strike while the... bug is close.
  3. It's always darkest before... daylight savings time.
  4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.
  5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?
  6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
  7. No news is... impossible.
  8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.
  9. You can't teach an old dog... math.
 10. If you lie down with dogs, you... will stink in the morning.
 11. Love all, trust... me.
 12. The pen is mightier than... the pigs.
 13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
 14. Where there is smoke, there's... pollution.
 15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
 16. A penny saved is... not much.
 17. Two is company, three's... The Musketeers.
 18. None are so blind as... Helen Keller.
 19. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
 20. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
 21. You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
 22. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.
 23. There is no fool like... Aunt Edie.
 24. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose.

Calinas_jr

Intr-o frumoasa zi de iarna, Bush se plimba prin fata Casei Albe, cand vede ca cineva a scris cu pis*t pe perete " Presedintele-i un *utut"
Bush s-a enervat, a pus Serviciile Secrete sa caute tipul, dupa 4 ore vin astia cu un tip.
Domn Presedinte l-am gasit pe infractor, si avem o veste proasta si una extrem de proasta.
1. Cel care a urinat pe perete este vicepresedintele.
Bush: - Cum ai putut sa imi faci asa ceva tradatorule???
2. Scrisul de mana este al Primei Doamne.

Calinas_jr

Un tip se urina intr-un pisoar pentru mai multe persoane, cand vine un pitic cu o scarita. Tipul dupaia vede ca piticul se holbeaza la testiculele sale si deodata piticul zice. WOW , eu chiar va admir bilele, pot macar sa le tin putin in mana?
R: Desigur.
Piticul apuca un ou si zice, acum da-mi portofelul ca altfel sar de pe scara.

wictorinho

bancur la mine bancur la tine asa e bancul zilei
slabut

emyyy

vechi dar fain

emyyy

huooo rapidistu ala ... FORZA STEAUA pana LA MOARTE

lullu

un 10 de la mine pt bancul zilei

danutza

Stiati ca daca o statuie reprezentand un erou pe cal prezinta calul cu doua picioare in aer, personajul a murit in batalie. Daca are un picior in aer, a murit ranit dupa batalie, iar daca are patru picioare pe jos, a murit de moarte naturala.

danutza

eu il stiam cu alte personaje... oricum, nu mai conteaza... in concluzie, bun bancul zilei... ;))

V|p3r_m3n

da e bun ;)) restu sunt foarte bune :))

eul_rip

bancu zilei pute!!! naspa nasol oribil fara haz...

Genius2007

n'are HAZ=((=((=((.....nimik.......:D

meetweety

CICA ISI TRIMIT RUSII SI AMERICANII SIMULTAN CATE
O BOMBA!
PE LA JUMATATEA DRUMULUI SE INTALNESC BOMBELE:
Bomba americana:Ce faci bomba rusa?
Bomba rusa: Ce sa fac? Bine, ma duc pe la
americani!
B.A. : Pai si te grabesti?
B.R. Pai......NU!
ATUNCI HAI SA DAU DE BAUT!
SI SE PUN BOMBELE LA BAUT!
B.R : AUZI BOMBA AMERICANA?
B.A : CE E?
B.R : EU M-AM CAM MACHIT!
B.A : PAI HAI SA TE DUC ACASA!

alynabest

Doua surori, una de 18, cealalta de 10 ani, fac pentru prima oara baie impreuna.
Cea mica observa ca cea mare are niste par intre picioare.
- Ce e asta dintre picioarele tale?
- Par pubian!
- Si nu te deranjeaza cand te f*** ??

alynabest

Un barbat si o femeie merg pe autostrada si se cearta din cauza
infidelitatii barbatului. Dintr-o data, femeia scoasa din minti apuca
scula barbatului si o taie, dupa care enervata o arunca pe fereastra.
In
spatele lor, intr-o masina un barbat si fetita lui de 7 ani discuta.
Dintr-o data, scula se izbeste de parbriz, sta lipita un moment si apoi
zboara mai departe. Surprinsa, fetita intreaba:
"Ce era asta, taticule?"
Rusinat si nevrand sa discute cu fetita lui subiecte sexuale, omul
raspunde:
"Era doar o insecta!"
Fetita ramane cu un aer confuz cateva minute si apoi zice: "In orice
caz, avea ditamai p**a"

meetweety

-De ce s-a intrerupt sedinta de guvern la
somalezi?
-A inceput sa bata vantul.

alynabest

Pe mirc, un tip si o tipa:
Ea : hai sa facem cyber-sex !
El: Ia mouse-ul in gura ca-ti trimit p**a pe fir !

Anna22

Un taran se ocupa de cultivatul pepenilor.
La un moment dat niste copii au inceput sa intre noaptea pe plantatie si sa fure din pepeni. Omul se gandeste si se gandeste pana ii vine o idee care in mod sigur ii va speria pe copii. Asa ca pune pe camp o placuta pe care scria "Un pepene de pe acest camp a fost injectat cu cianura".
Ziua urmatoare taranul vine pe camp si vede ca nu lipseste nici un pepene, dar gaseste o alta placuta langa cea pusa de el: "Acum sunt doi".

meetweety

Afara o caldura strasnica. Pasarile de la o ferma
s-au ascuns la umbra,liniste...Deodata din cotet
se aude galagie si cucosul strigind:
- Scuze, am gresit!
Dupa el iese o rata zburlita care linistita ii
raspunde:
- Fii serios,nici o problema...

meetweety

Gradina zoologica. Anunt: Va rugam mult,nu
speriati strutul,podeaua  e cimentata!

Anna22

Cum se imbraca secretara

Nevasta unui director afla ca el are o noua secretara. Vine directorul acasa, nevasta il ia in primire:
-Secretara asta a ta are picioare frumoase?
-N-am bagat de seama.
-Ochii ce culoare au?
-N-am observat...
-Dar de-mbracat, cum se-mbraca?
-Foarte repede.

Anna22

Initiaza cineva o competitie de sah aici?

Anna22

E-mail de la sotie catre sot:
"Trimite-mi bani, ca altfel incep sa calc stramb!"

E-mail de raspuns de la sot catre sotie:
"Calca stramb, si trimite-mi si mie niste bani!"

larex

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange
noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's
dialing,  His 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding In your closet and he's got no clothes on!
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the
bedroom, Past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough,There is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
"You rotten bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a
heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

larex

Ion si Maria in noaptea nuntii dupa partida de sex;
Maria:-Ma Ioane tu nu-i face in veci SIDA!
Ion: Desteapta esti tu Marie, de unde stii tu lucru aista?
Maria: Pai, tu ai putza mai mica decat virusu’!          

larex

Itzig si Strul decid sa se desparta, impartind in mod egal averea familiei.
Dupa un an, se intalnesc, la marginea orasului, langa un restaurant de lux. Strul, gras, frumos, bine imbracat. Itzig, zdrentaros si murdar.
- Pai, cum ai ajuns asa de bine, Strul?
- Din banii de la tata am cumparat o masina, am facut taximetrie. Am strans bani, am mai luat o masina si tot asa. Tu?
- Eu am bagat banii la un joc piramidal, am pierdut si... beau.
Dupa inca un an iar se intalnesc. Strul si mai rotofei, iar Itzig si mai zdrentuit.
- Cum ti-a mers, Strul?
- Din banii economisiti am inceput o afacere cu o benzinarie, petrol. Merge foarte bine? Tu?
- Beau de necaz!
In al treilea an, Strul ajuns primul la intalnire, vede o flotila de elicoptere care aterizeaza in apropierea locului de intalnire. Din ele coboara o multime de tipe misto si...Itzig.
- Pai, bine, mai, Itzig, anu' trecut abia te tineai pe picioare, n-aveai dupa ce bea apa si acu'...
- Mai, Strul, am baut, cat am baut. Da' si cand am inceput sa vand sticlele!...